For parents who have children 3 years and up: when was that "defining moment" when you realize your child is not a baby anymore and needs his/her own space sometime? For me, it was when we went to our nearby park recently and I saw that look of wonder in my son's eyes while I was silently watching him (and taking picture) from afar.
I think Riley appreciate the silence. Walang nagbabawal sa kanya na umakyat at higit sa lahat walang nanay na sunud ng sunod sa knya. When I see kids that are younger than Riley in our neighborhood playing without supervision of their parents, I disapprove it. Haven't they watch the news? A million things can go wrong. In the blink of an eye, accidents happen. I constantly worry about Riley's safety and all that. I can't bear if anything bad will happen to him. That's my worst nightmare and my greatest fear. So you could imagine how I am with Riley. No this and no that when I sense he is in peril. No this and no that when we're in the mall. No this and no that when he's climbing the stairs. I've been an over protective mother to Riley and I am not ashame of it. But not today.
I know I can't always be by his side. I can't warn him or stop him to do what he likes every time. I can't always catch him when he falls. I have to let him get hurt so he will know how to be braver. I have to let him take risks so he will know how to protect himself. He has to be on his own sometimes to know the value of independence. I have to trust Riley for his own actions. I will still look after him but my learning here is knowing when to. I think he's ready to explore the world on his own. And I am ready
too to let him go.
Bit by bit, I'm learning to step back farther and farther away from him. It's ok because the view is more spectacular when I watch my son from a distance. But most importantly, I know God watches him and He will guide and protect him ALL the time. My heart is at peace.
