Seeing him grow day by day is both heart warming and heart breaking. Nothing will ever prepare me for what’s to come next. I feel like there’s not enough time to show him hoooowwww much I love him. So many things I want to do for him. So many words I want to say to him. And so many moments I still want to share with him. I feel like time is our enemy. He’s growing up so fast and I 'm scared for things left undone. There is never enough time for love, maybe that's it. Maybe that's why I'm clinging to every piece of memories I can with him while he is still a kid! Because I don't want to wake up one day and regret not being there for him because I could never get back this time with him. My love for Riley is the hardest kind of love because it's the purest kind of love.
Sigh. I know, I know it's inevitable! But still. I wish there is a slowmo button because it seems like a blur. So anyway, here is my letter for the birthday boy. I started writing letter to him on his first birthday. And I plan to continue this until I'm gray and old. A mother's love knows no age and certainly has no boundaries!
Dear Riley,
Happy 7th birthday! I love you. And thank you for loving me back, hundred times multiplied! Your love has kept me grounded, lifted my spirit, and brightened my life. You're the first on my list when I count my blessings. Your presence is such a gift in itself, I could not ask anything more from God. Seriously, I don't know what would I ever do without you? When you made me a promise that you’re gonna love me forever or that you’ll never leave me, you never know but I was engraving those words deep in my hearts. I want to freeze those moment where I felt like the center of your universe. Please don't change and don't stop loving me even if you get mad at me for doing the right things for you.
And as tradition, here is my 7 wishes for you on your special day:
1. I pray you grow up to be a man of God.
2. I pray that you will be safe and secure and in good health always.
3. I pray for you an obedient heart. I know sometimes you’re tired of hearing this from me, but Riley, “I know better because I am your mama.” Listen to me.
4. I wish you never lose your sense of wonder and how simple things makes you happy. You’re such a jolly person it’s so fun to have you around!
5. I wish you found the answers to ALL your questions. I know I can always answer your Science questions but when it comes to your question in life (i.e. mga tanong mo about your Daddy), I wish for you a compassionate heart that understands.
6. I wish you patience in your study. Sobrang naiintindihan kita kasi life is not all about Math or English or Civics pero kailangan mo talagang pag-aralan iyon.
7. I wish you will outgrew your obsession with legos! Seriously anak, napakadami na! hehe.
And lastly, can you stay little for a little while longer? Mama is not yet ready for you to grow up. Don't rush anak, let me enjoy these few years where I can still call you my baby. Ok?
Love,
mama
