On This Day

Facebook reminded me today na limang taon na itong picture na to:

Fast forward to present day, I can't believe how big you've grown!

Riley, don't grow up too fast, please! :)

Why I Love Saturday Classes

Last month, when Riley had to perform a dance at their school, he threw a tantrum. He doesn't want to let go of me and so he wasn't able to perform with his classmates. Yung tipong nakaready na ang camera mo at icclick mo na lng ung record button. Yung looking forward ka na makita ang anak mo sa stage with all the costume na pinatahi mo pa. But no, Riley didn't want to leave my side despite my promises (na bibili ko xa ng toys). When we got home I got so upset, I didn't want to talk to him at all. When I calmed down, I ask him "bakit ayaw mo sumayaw sa stage?" He said "ayaw ko aalis ka mama. Ayaw ko iiwan mo ko." I felt sad. Then I asked him, "gusto mo ba babantayan ka palagi ni mama sa school?" He answered, "opo." Naiyak ako when I heard that.

Whenever I am at their school, that always happens. I feel sad that Riley feels that way. That I will always leave him. That he is not important. That he thinks my work is more important than him. I've been feeling guilty ever since and was thinking of resigning just to prove to him that nothing will come as important as him ever! I feel helpless and I know no matter how hard I explain it to him, what he sees is a preoccupied mother. I want him to know that he can always count on me anytime or in any circumstances. But how can he knows that when sometimes, simpleng pagyaya lang nya sakin to play with him is not even possible? That's why, as much as I could, I wanted to finish all that is needed to finish at school. I wanted to check, record, submit forms that are needed so when I get home, I could focus only on Riley. Or why when the clock hits 5, I wanted to fly the distance from school to home. Or why I wanted to bring him to my school whenever permissible. But I can only do so much. Or too little. And most of the times, it was Riley's time that get cutout in my busy life. 

Yeah I know, it will all pass. He'll grow up and forget about this things. Plus I know, in his heart, he knows that I love him dearly. So when I have the chance to really BE there for him, I always, always make it worth all Riley's longing for me. And that brings me, they have makeup classes for three consecutive Saturdays. I surprised him and pick him up today! At first, he didn't see me. When he did see me, he looks stunned. Sabi nya, "wala ka pasok mama?" I said "oo" and he screamed "thank youuu!" hehe. And when he was saying goodbye to his classmate, he said "mama ko!" while pointing at me. :)

I wish  puro Saturday nalang pasok mo anak. I love Saturday classes and looks forward for more times like these. I love you Riley and konti na lang, malapit na Christmas vacation and we'll be 24/7 together again! ^_^