HELLO 2010!

Looking back to the year that was, I can say that my 2008 to be sad. It’s really a bad year for me. But this year, 2009, I must say I’ve really improved. This year is the year of many revelations. I learned a lot of things about myself. I learned to bounce back again after so many trials. I realize and became more focus on what I want to achieve in life. I also discover a new passion which is blogging. 2009 is really a good year! And I want to thank God for making it so. But now in a few hours, it’s time to say goodbye to 2009 and hello 2010! And if you ask me what I expect in the upcoming year, I want my 2010 to be daring!

Yep! You read it right. I want my 2010 to be daring! Lol. Before your mind wander to something malicious, I want to say daring as in “good dare”. Meaning I want to push myself to the limit. To not be afraid to try things I don’t usually do. To think out of the box. To step outside of my comfort zone. I want to see what else I can do. I want to conquer the world!

WOW! Parang daredevil no? hehe. Bear in mind that what I consider daring is not what people usually regard so. Example of the things I want to do this 2010 are: learn how to drive; work abroad; travel in and out of the country; get a new hairdo; sing in front of the crowd!; make a video of myself playing guitar and post it in youtube. Haha! Weird noh?! Basta I want to dare myself! I felt that time is running out. I don’t want to wake up one day and wonder “Anong nangyari?” I just want to do SOMETHING with this one life I have. Don’t worry no getting a tattoo or body piercing or posing nude in a men’s magazine. LOL. I wouldn’t dare that!

Another year, another journey. Time to leave the bad things from the past and carry in the coming year the good things. I guess that’s the best things about NEW YEAR. The excuse of starting our lives as if we’re newly born and giving us hope that “YES! Life can be better!” That we can do better this time or this year. It’s ok to screw up once in a while just as long as we know how to rise up again. So whatever you want your new year to be, hope you will reach it!

Have a promising NEW YEAR ahead of us!

Daddy Friend

The truth is I care for him more than I admit it. I can’t even hide my sadness when we said goodbye yesterday. I’m not good at goodbyes tlg. Especially when that person has given me so much joy. OO daddy friend has given me so much happiness even in a short period of 1 month. The memories we share are enough to make up for the lost years that we’re not able to communicate with each other. But of course, I wish it was longer.

Let me tell you a brief story of how we met. Well, dadi friend and I were schoolmates from grade 1 to grade 5. Back on those days, we would go home together. He said I’m always kind to him and that I always treat him the sidecar fare. But I don’t even remember that. What I remember was this funny, payatot, talkative boy who never fails to entertain me. We would always talk about “kids stuff”. I don’t remember what topic but all I remember was the warmth I felt whenever were together. That feeling of being secure just by him walking beside me. NAKS. Bata pa lang alam ko na yung mga gnung bagay?! Hehe. That’s how it all started. But when we were in grade 6, his family went back in their province Pangasinan. I thought that’s the end of our story, until he found me in FRIENDSTER!

OO, after 16 years of no communications at all, we found each other again! That friend request really changes my life. He said I’m the first one he searches. He said he never forgets my name. (unlike me who just remembers his first name.) Since then, we had our usual chat, and once in a while he would call. He even sent me money on my bday to buy myself a cake. And last Dec 4, he went back in the Philippines to celebrate Christmas!

I thought our first meeting would be awkward. But it was like when we we’re kids. He is still funny and madaldal. He told me I was his crush kc “mukha raw aq dyosa” when we we’re little. Lol. That’s his exact word. And I told him, he is also my crush. I don’t know. There something about this payat, bunot-like hair, small and big eyes boy that I find attractive. hehe. Anyway, that’s how he looks like then but now he’s taller, he’s macho, and he is soo gwapo. Plus I don’t get to treat him; he treats me all the way! As in “Joyce order ka pa!” hehe.

Aww! Just thinking about him makes me smile. We talk about lots of stuff. But this time it’s about “grown up stuff”. I don’t know if he’s serious about including me in HIS future. I dont want to commit anything to him and I don’t want him promising anything to me. It’s hard when you’re millions miles away. Besides what we have is special. I don't want to complicate it by putting a label with what we feel. I want to keep it this way.

Tomorrow is his flight back to U.S. He promised that he would still call and that we will still keep in touch. I’m gonna miss him. That’s for sure. Especially his laugh. And everytime he would say "miss na kita mommy friend."  I’m sure I’ll be a wreck in a few days. Maybe cry a few tears. But things will be back to normal as it always does.

Yeah...We’re gonna see each other again...  Someday… Our love story is not yet finish. It is only beginning. :)

What a way to end my 2009. :)

Merry Christmas!!!

Merry Christmas To All!

&

Happy Birthday Jesus!

I'm All Set For Christmas!

Hay. I’m so tired. Imagine I cook all the dishes then I wash the dishes twice! Plus I just finished wrapping my gifts now. Well our Christmas break started only yesterday so I’ve only accomplished all my “xmas to do list” today. But it’s ok. This year it’s all about being practical about my gifts. BUT with personalize touch and some loving effort!

Here are my gifts list:

1. Give gifts you want other people to give you. I love reading. And one thing I want to impart to everyone is the love for reading also. Reading awakens and stimulates the mind. Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body. A good book can take us in a world we’d never been to. So this Christmas, you bet I'm giving BOOKS to my friends and inaanak and nephews as gift! In return, feel free to give me a good book also.

2. Give something to munch for your friends. I wanted to bake crinkles for my friends/kumare but as I mention about our work schedules, I wasn’t able to. So I bought cookies instead, put it in this recyclable container, and decorate it. They will enjoy eating the cookies and then they can reuse the container also. It’s a practical gift!

3. Give children what they want. Kids love candies, that’s a fact. I bought these candies and put them in a toy like container so every kid that will visit our house can get as much candies as he/she wants! Now that’s a happy Christmas for them!

4. Give something personalized. It’s hard thinking of a gift for my relatives. Plus I really don’t have budget for it. So I thought of making a calendar that serves as an official family greeting card also. Its useful and personalized pa!

5. Give love on Christmas day! No greater gift is there than love. This is the best gift anyone can give this holiday season. A simple hug or kiss or smile is enough to brighten other people’s lives. What more if you do it for your loved ones db? Let us spread love, not war!

I’m all set for the holidays! Who says you can’t have a merry AND thrifty Christmas? ;)

sober

I found out last Friday that I don’t like BEER anymore. I don’t like its smell, its taste, even its effect. Although, there was a time in my life when I like drinking it because of what it creates on me: TEMPORARY AMNESIA. When I was immature enough and confused between what’s in and what is right, I thought it’s cool to drink. I also thought alcohol can help me solve my problem. In a way, that's true. Because even in a short period of time I felt freedom from all the pain, hurt, depression, rejection or whatever I feel. But after getting drunk, the problems are still there, sadness still lives with me, and there goes my boring life again!
 
Now, gone are the days that I run to alcohol to escape from the bitter world of reality. I’m sober now. I don’t want to be intoxicated for me to forget all the things I’m running away from. I’m braver now to face them on my own.

Oh, I almost forgot. Another thing that I realized last Friday was, I am not yet ready to be in a serious relationship. But I do miss my daddy friend terribly. But until I learn to love myself first and appreciate the real me, I won't rush anything. Besides, things would fall into the right places at the right time. I'll just enjoy our time together while he's still here. And hope that tomorrow holds a brighter future for both of us! ;)

love 101

Prologue:

Oh love, are you knocking at my door once more? Please not again! Lol. I miss him already. I hate feeling helpless. I hate not knowing where things stand. I hate the urgency to text him, to ask what he’s doing, etc. etc. I know it would take some time before we know what the real score between us is. It's just that, it's been a while since I felt this way again to someone. I'm still happy being single but when you have someone special, it makes life a little colorful. But I know its all kilig at the start. After a while, there's all sort of LQ's. To remind me of my mistakes in the past, I decided to make this list of lessons I learned in loving.

 ♥♥♥♥♥♥

That crazy little thing called LOVE. That thing that makes the world go round. Yep! Love can either make or break a person. At first, its all sun shiny day. But when it ends, u feel it’s the end of the world. But no matter what is our experience about love, still, I say, it’s the best damn thing that could happen to anyone!

Here are the lessons I learned in loving: based on my own experience

To don’t complicate things. To don’t think too much. I’m such a drama queen when it comes to relationship. (That’s what I get from watching too much teledrama. haha!). Seriously, I tend to complicate things by getting jealous all the time, or by starting a fight over small matters. Loving is simple. You love each other. Period.

No matter how much I love & want someone, there are just people that I can’t have in my life. That’s the hardest thing I learned in loving - letting go. Letting go when you know things can still workout. When you know your mistakes and you’re sorry. When you still love the person. It is a risk everyone has to take in loving. Good thing I’ve fully let go of a love that is not meant to be for me.

I should be grateful when someone loves me.  My initial typical response when someone expresses his love for me was skeptical. I should just be grateful that despite my being ordinary and silly and unlovable features, someone found me otherwise. But being grateful, doesn’t mean I’ll believe them all the way. Girls should always be cautious to guys. *wink

Just because a guy loves me, doesn’t mean he wants to marry me. When you’re in a relationship, you think he’s the one or you'll end up together. Sometimes it is possible a guy loves you, but doesn’t see himself marrying you. Or worst, sometimes a guy loves you just like he loves his current girlfriend or wife. Ouch! That’s a lesson I learned big time.

Love comes when u least expected. This is true. My previous relationships, I'm not looking for someone that time. It just happens. It’s much fun if love surprises u, don’t you think? I always said this, if someone is for u, eventually you’ll be together. So it’s better not to think about it too much, and one day you'll be surprise when love comes knocking at your door! So right now, I'm not expecting anyone. (Pero this is it na nga kaya?) lol

Keeping the faith. I'll be honest; of course there are times I think of love, marriage, children, happy ever after. Things like that. Then I play the “what if” game of my life. What if I don’t get married at all? What if I won’t have any children? What if I just have a child and not a husband? What if I get married even without love just so I can have a family of my own? What if I won 1 million at lotto? Haha. But you know what? I don’t care anymore. God knows what’s best for me. Ill just have to keep the faith!


Uhhh. Love, love, love.  Need I say more?:-)

♥♥♥♥♥♥

Epilogue:

I have my own share of heartaches and heartbroken moments. And that’s a place I never want to be again. But what I learn from my past relationships is to not rush things. Yeah this feeling will pass (or not). Until then, I’ll continue to be a good friend to my one and only daddy friend! Muah!

dell or no deal

After weighing the pros and cons, considering the price, and waiting for the best time to buy one, I finally decided to deal on Dell!

I don’t usually buy expensive things so it’s really a big deal. But I know its going to be useful and I believe I deserve it! It’s my way of rewarding myself after working so hard this year. And an early Christmas present for myself. Besides I really enjoy blogging, so what better way to complement it than buying a laptop? Now, I can write whenever I want, wherever I am. I know DI* and I will have a great adventure together!

left side elevation

front elevation

right side elevation

Oh! You're so cute I can’t take my eyes out of you! Lol

*DI-Dell Inspiron 1440. Check here the complete specifications.