My Last Will When I Die

This is a post I've been putting off to write for a while now. Medyo mdrama kasi. As much as possible I avoid topics like these 'coz there's too much drama in the world to add my personal "kadramahan" to it. Pero may moment lang talaga na emo minsan. So pagbigyan nyo  na ko ngayon.

Recently, two of my classmates died. It was sudden, unexpected. They are both my age. One has a son too while the other one is married. They are too young to die in my opinion. But is there a fitting age to die? That's my problem about death. Hindi natin alam kung kailan ito mangyayari satin. We're all going there but who wants to rush it? How do you prepare for something na hindi mo alam kailan mangayayari? Honestly, I don't want to die. God knows this and we're still not finish with our discussion. HE knows I am not ready yet and I'm still negotiating my terms to HIM. Ang liit pa ni Riley. Ang daming bagay na gusto ko masaksihan sa paglaki nya. The truth is I don't ever want to leave my son. I want to be with him forever. I fear oblivion just like Augustus Waters from the book The Fault in Our Stars. I fear that when I die, Riley will eventually forget about me and my love for him. That he won't know anything about me or how much I love him. That's why I plead to God na sana pag malaki na si Riley at may apo na ko saka na lang nya ako kunin. I know I can only ask God but in the end HIS will be done.  

So that leads me with this request. Can I ask you a favor? If ever I die unexpectedly and won't be able to say goodbye to Riley will you do something for me? When I die, and you came across Riley, just say something, anything about me. Like how you met me, or how am I as a friend, things like that. Tell him that his mama loves him so much that even when I'm gone, I care for his well being. That his mama wants him to be strong when he is confronted with problem. That he can rely on God when he feels alone. That he can talk to me in his prayer and I will be able to hear it. By that, I am hoping that he won't forget me. I know it sounds silly but can you do that for me? That's all I ask if ever I won't be there to do all that for him.

If you can promise that to me, then I guess I can accept death peacefully. I just want Riley to know I LOVE HIM and nothing, not even death could end that love.