my little nudger

Excitement, scared, happiness, contentment, sad, and some emotion I can’t still figure out at this moment. All I know is I’m blessed! Yes that’s what I feel right now. I’m really excited that a few months from now I will be a MOTHER. Yep. A mother. Who would have thought an immature, indecisive, weak and baby face girl like me could bear and will bring a child into this world? Kala ko bakla ko, babae pala ako!!! Hehe. I really can’t believe it at first. I said to myself maybe the doctor was wrong. That the ultrasound was not that accurate. But now as I feel my baby kicking and punching and somersaulting inside my belly, YEP! HE is REAL!

It’s really hard to explain in words. I wanted to shout and dance when I saw my baby’s heart beating and his gender and his face for the first time. It’s just overwhelming! You just have to be pregnant to know what I’m going through. I never know I can be like this - I love him already. I want to protect him already. I want to give him all the best in the world. (ayan naiiyak na tuloy ako) :’( What I’m saying is, I thought I only live for myself. That I can’t love someone more than my life. That I can’t be brave enough to fight for someone. But now I know that I was wrong. Suddenly I just don’t live for me. There’s a greater and deeper meaning now to my life. And that reason is “my little nudger”. Even without meeting him yet, I know he’s already holding a big part of my life. Or rather he is ALREADY my life. My future now seems brighter because of him.

Anyway, it’s still a long way to go. I’m on my 5th month and will be due on September. I’m so excited that I want to buy clothes for my baby this early! First time mom po kc! Hehe. I know I should wait a little longer before to buy anything for the baby. So now I just enjoy being pregnant. I like dressing pregnant, being taken care of and being pampered to. I like it when my two nephews talk about their coming cousin like they we’re friends and playmates already.

sexy buntis at 5 months

I’ve never been ashamed to admit that I am pregnant but I wanted to share it only to people who mattered in my life. I guess I'm just waiting for the right time to announce it. Kc ung iba chismis lang talaga ang habol. But as long as what I believe feels right and I’m happy with my life, I don’t care if I hear negative things from other people. They can judge me all they want but at the end of the day, they don’t live my life for me. I live my own life.