My New Found Friend

My father and I used to be strangers with each other. I don't know anything about him and I never bother to talk to him. I don't even care about him. Before he was just a man with no worth and with no meaning in my life. I used to ask God why He didn't give me a better father? Why him? Why my friends have loving and supporting father and I am stuck with him? I think I have "trust issues" with men in general because of what he did to our mother before. YES! I use to feel that way about my own father. I know! What a nice way to talk about my father on Father's Day! Lol. But that was before. Life has it's own way of healing wounds up. Things are way better now between us. And since he accepted my friend request yesterday in FB, I guess I can call him my FRIEND now. :)

Sometimes, there's no need for words. I don't know how it happens but day by day I acknowledge his existence. That he is a part of our family. He is alive and he is here to stay in our lives. There are times he still annoys the hell out of me, (my sisters and brother will agree to this!) but now I learn to respect. I learn to shut my mouth. I learn to control my aggressiveness and my temper around him. Besides how can I get mad at him when I see how much he loves my son? Everyday he would come to our house just to see Riley. Riley is the first person he looks for and I don't mind the least. And he would carry Riley outside and talk to him and say  "Nagpunta lang ako para makita at makarga si Riley." It fills my heart knowing how much he cares for my son. For 28 years, I thought this man was not capable of loving someone other than himself. But Riley proved us all wrong. Thank heavens for Riley! Ever since he came to our lives, he is like a bridge that connects us all and bring our family closer together. Because of my son, the wall between us is broken little by little, day by day. I never knew grandchildren could change their grandparents for the better because if I do, I would have a baby sooner. Hehe. Just kidding!

Ama is not perfect. It took me a while before I accepted him in my life for all his flaws and faults. The bitterness is gone but most of all I learn to forgive him to all the torments of the past. There's no I love yous. No sweet words or words of advice. No gift giving or throwing of surprises. Nothing like that with my relationship to my father. But at least I still have a father. And that father is my friend.

the man who gave me life and the (little) man I gave life to...