Just Enjoy Him

I'm been a little crappy this past days. I don't know. I wanted to do a lot of things. To do some serious reading. To learn sewing and crocheting. To just lay down on the bed the whole day. And sleep as looooong as I want. Between the household chores and Riley's needs, I feel like one day is not enough to do everything I wanted to do. Some times I feel so tired and I just want a time out. :(

Last night while staring at my sleeping child, I ask God: kailan ko magagawa yung ibang bagay na gusto ko? It sounded selfish. I know. But there is this part of me that wanted a time for myself too. Then almost instantaneously I heard God's voice whispering in my ear. He said: when he is older you can do all those things you want.

As simple as that I am enlightened. Riley would not be a child forever. He will grow up and he won't need me as much as he needs me now. He will seek new companies. A day would come when he would not strive for my attention or my affection anymore. He will have a family of his own. Then all I will be left of would be this precious time that I so long for. One day.

Riley needs me NOW more than ever. He wants me to love him. To play silly games with him. He wants me to be by his side (without a book or an iPad on my hand) and have my undivided attention. He needs me to just enjoy him. To seize the moment. One day he would grow up and forget about these things. I would grow old too but I know I can look back without any regrets because I have chosen what is more important.

I will still do the things that I want for myself. But right now, Riley needs my TIME.